clay 009


i need to quote from webmd here:

Recovery is not a cure. It is a lifelong process. It begins in treatment, but it doesn’t end when your treatment ends.

getting (and staying) clean meant we had to find ways to stay sober while he changed his attitude and most importantly his behavior.

his recovery has been a gradual process. from denial there were the excuses and foot dragging your feet. then i got through to him and he changed – it was a big day for all of us

orchid 587

on to the drugs

we had to tackle the drug abuse – but i didn’t think i could do it alone. i searched all over the internet for a place that could handle his needs, getting clean, staying clean, i wanted a dual diagnosis clinic, and i wanted it close enough so that if he had to stay there i could visit easily.

i found my perfect place again by searching – texas-based, lots of local centers, and they took my insurance.


more on alcoholism

i am going to quote from another blog here, the whole article is at this url, but i am going to put some of it below:

The good news is that if we enter into our post-recovery relations with an alcoholic well prepared, we can easily avoid the pitfalls that can undermine our best efforts to contribute to her healing. Listed below are some of the things that you should most certainly not say to a recovering alcoholic, if you are seriously interested in helping her find and retain permanent sobriety.

1.    “I really feel bad for you that you have to go through something like this.”

Let the pity party begin! Or better yet, let’s not. Instead, let’s call the police and file a noise complaint against the pity party so it can be squelched before it ever gets off the ground. Alcoholics in recovery need empowerment, not sympathy. If they are inundated with pity, it could lead them to start feeling sorry for themselves and weaken their resolve at a time when they need it the most.

2.   “I admire your willpower, it must be hard to resist the constant temptation to drink.”

The common perception that willpower is the key factor that allows alcoholics to overcome their addiction is simplistic and wrong. Recovering alcoholics face a variety of triggers that can set off a relapse, and conscious awareness of the nature of the threat is much more important than sheer willpower. Reminding them to watch out for those triggers is more productive than talking about willpower as this can actually plant seeds of doubt in their minds (no one can be expected to maintain her willpower seven days a week/24 hours a day).

3.   “You know, your drinking really wasn’t all that bad.”

You might think you are doing the recovering alcoholic a favor by humoring her with this type of rhetoric, but in fact you aren’t really helping at all. No recovering alcoholic should have illusions about the true nature of her disease, and encouraging her to take her alcoholism less seriously is irresponsible to the extreme.

4.    “How are you feeling? What have you been doing? Have you felt like taking a drink today?”

Enough with the questions. You should be intimately involved in your loved one’s sobriety campaign and on a daily basis if possible, but pestering and annoying her with incessant verbiage will leave her feeling pressured and could literally drive her back to drinking. Keeping her constantly preoccupied with her problems will not be constructive, so you should rely on her to volunteer personal information as appropriate rather than demanding to be kept informed.

5.     “Just know that I’m here to help you beat this horrible ghastly disease, no matter what it takes.”

Recovery is serious business, but that doesn’t mean it has to be unrelentingly grim. Laughter and gaiety are tickets to happiness and a better life, and anything you can do to bring smiles of enjoyment to a person battling alcoholism will only increase the odds of ultimate victory.

the steps

we had to break the habits that were destroying his life.

think you might be alcoholic – take this quiz

we started with an alcoholic intervention. he had been drinking since high school, maybe before, and for him it was like drug addiction help – an alcoholic intervention! i worked with him every day, we looked up advice on the internet incessantly, and when it got tough i tried to help him through it, dts, chills, fever.

it wasn’t easy. i found there was a lot i had to learn. as i say, i did a lot of research – naturally wikipedia was the first destination, but there was a ton to find. i didn’t have any wuestion about it, but if you wonder if you’re an alcoholic, try this checklist (or the quiz above).

places like the mayo clinic had a lot of non-commercial info, and the NCADD was a treasure trove for us.

don’t wait, if you have to take control, do it now




About my son

he’s a drug addict. no kidding, no fooling, he needed help. once upon a time i gave up on him, then i changed my mind and we got him help. i needed to get help for substance abuse, pills, pot, and alcohol. based on what i read online, i knew i needed a dual diagnosis clinic, and i needed one in texas, and i needed one fast.

we found a place, and we found the help we needed

with all we went through getting him clean, i thought i would share our story – a bit at a time – and talk about some of the help for substance abuse we got